CW88 – Reconciliation: Healing church division

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Becoming ‘agents of reconciliation’

 

By Rt Revd Martyn Snow, Bishop of Leicester

Here in the Church of England Diocese of Leicester (a “rural diocese with urban heartlands”), we’ve adopted ‘reconciling communities’ as one of our strategic priorities. It sits alongside our four other priorities: new communities (fresh expressions of church); intercultural communities; intergenerational communities and eco communities. But this one focuses in particular on the divisions which exist not just in our world but also in our church, and it is intended to make it clear that reconciliation is core to God’s mission in this world.

Perhaps the most vivid description of this in the New Testament is the Pentecost story. When the Holy Spirit came on those first disciples, they were suddenly able to speak the different languages of the people around about them. This, then, is a picture of what it means to translate the good news of Jesus Christ into the language and culture of the many different people groups of the world. It is intended to be an image of overcoming the barriers to communication and to understanding within this world. And we go on to see that worked out in other ways through the rest of the book of Acts.

For Christians, this means being willing to have good conversations with one another across our differences. Being willing to listen to one another – and by that, I mean a deep listening, not just listening in order that I can then argue with what somebody is saying. But a listening which is willing to take on board what somebody else is saying and allow their words to really take root within me, such that, even though I may not then agree with what they say, nevertheless I can disagree with love and with understanding.

That requires brave conversations as well as good conversations. Being willing to talk about the stuff which we know is not easy to talk about. Being willing to talk about the stuff which we know is sensitive, which people can easily get worked up about and people can easily get hurt by as well. But we need to be brave in having those conversations as long as they’re done with love and understanding. It means facing up to our fears and our prejudices. It means being honest about the fact that every one of us can be guilty of hypocrisy, saying one thing and doing something different.

But it’s only as we in the church practice these things and develop these skills that we can then be agents of reconciliation within the wider world. And we know we live in a society which is bitterly divided in all sorts of different ways.

So part of our work and our calling as a church is indeed to be people of reconciliation, to invite others to be reconciled with God but then also reconciled with one another. The two elements sit together, just as Jesus summarised the law as love of God and of neighbour. This then, has always been core to our faith, but now, more than ever, we need to make it a priority to learn how to be agents of reconciliation.

 

CW88 – Reconciliation: Occasions come together

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From rift to reconciliation: occasions to come together

Dr Anne Richards

 

National Adviser: Mission and Public Affairs, Church of England

What’s the difference between God and a wedding planner? Well, I was recently at a meeting with a wedding planner who was talking to two young people about the arrangements for their wedding reception. As they pored over a possible seating plan, she enquired, quite discreetly, whether there were any guests who should be kept apart.

I was interested in this, because I have been at funerals where social workers and even police have been on hand in the expectation of trouble, but when I talked to the wedding planner, she said there had been not a few, but many occasions, where, fuelled by alcohol and emotion, tempers fray and family rifts flare out, spoiling the event and causing tears for everyone. Now, the planners ask beforehand to try and iron out potential confrontations and difficulties by seating people who are known to be unhappy with each other out of their direct eyelines and putting distance between difficult relationships.

We think about the occasional offices as events which celebrate and mourn the big moments in people’s lives. We rejoice when a person, child or adult, is received into the Christian church through baptism. We are filled with the feeling of new beginning and hopeful future when two people are joined before God in holy matrimony and we weep and give thanks at the closure of a person’s life as we commend them to God at a funeral.

In rural places, these events are often the bedrock of a village or town’s engagement of the church in relation to the community. I have been at events where every person in the village has turned out to celebrate a marriage or stood outside in the rain to mourn a long-known person at their funeral. Such events can draw churchgoers and non-churchgoers together and cement a feeling of social solidarity radiating outwards from the church. But the other side of it is also there. Occasional offices can be places where family history and rifts going back generations can flare up. Some of those things can be family breakdowns and separations, and friends who land on one side or the other of the division. Sometimes it’s jealousies and competitiveness or lost loves that burst outwards in the face of others’ happiness. Sometimes it’s just an inability to hold back emotion or resentment, or a life of poverty or pain that makes someone start something that escalates.

Talking to a rural vicar just recently, he mused that the worst fight that ever broke out in church was over a disputed decision in a cricket match on the village green two years previously. All kinds of things from huge trauma to the completely trivial can become rivers of resentment carving canyons of bitterness etched into long memories. So ministry which offers the space and time to express joy and wonder before God also has to consider an underbelly of negative emotions which can be simmering away and which themselves need addressing.

How then, can the occasional offices of the rural church be occasions for joy, for mission, but also for healing, for reconciliation?

In Unreconciled? a book I wrote with my friends and colleagues in the Mission Theology Advisory Group, we looked closely at the sort of rifts and unhealed divisions which perpetuate in the Church but which are rarely, if ever, really addressed in Christian reconciliation.

One of the things we noted was that reconciliation is not just about patching things up, papering over the cracks, or even getting relationships on to an even keel. It is about more than mending, but the creation of something new in which everyone concerned can now flourish as God intends us to flourish. That place of mutual flourishing which is such a powerful witness to God working among us, is the place we need to get to.

So suppose we think of every baptism, wedding or funeral, as a place where brokenness and pain can be laid to rest and then transmuted into new peace, freedom and joy. It’s all very well saying it like that, but nothing in that process is automatic; it takes real preparatory work, careful pastoral care, sensitivity to the performative nature of liturgy, its spaces for acknowledging falling short and occasions for forgiveness, and the creation of room for the Holy Spirit to work in the hearts of all who attend.

As we emerge out of the pandemic, we are obliged now to think of the further damage that lockdowns and isolation have inflicted on people. There has been trauma, increased family tensions where people have had to spend time struggling with work and school at home, occasions of fragile mental health, bereavements, separations, guilts and fears.

People have fallen out about whether churches have been open or shut, whether the vicar phoned enough, whether their Christian neighbours helped enough or not. All kinds of issues now lie behind attendance at Church and these need a place and time to be addressed. And so we are now faced with a complex task, but also an opportunity. What skills in reconciliation, restoration, forgiveness and assurance in the faithfulness and steadfastness of God, do we now need in order to create something new? How do we make the things the rural church is often so best at, in creating and sustaining community, the basis of real reconciliation for people which leads us all from pain to peace and joy?

What is the difference between God and the wedding planner? Psalm 23 says that God restores our failing lives and that God comforts even when we walk in the darkest valley, the valley of the shadow of death. But more to the point, the psalm ends with a table being set in the presence of the psalmist’s enemies. And there, the cup overflows in safety and security where all can flourish. It is enmity that the wedding planner hopes to mitigate; with God, enmity means nothing in the face of God’s overwhelming, forgiving love. Let’s choose God’s way.

CW88 – Reconcilation: Rural Roundup

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Vicar organises climb ‘over the hill’ to meet neighbours.

Residents who live in villages situated around the base of a large Somerset hill, but are not interlinked, decided the best way to get to know each other was to put on their walking boots, head out of the house and hike up the hill to meet the people who live on the other side.

Revd Annie Gurner, of Ham Hill Villages benefice, who organised the event on Ham Hill says, “We wanted to build back social recovery and encourage people to re-engage with each other. So many have been isolated and lonely. We have a necklace of small villages around this historic hill and we wanted to organise a safe way for people to enjoy the countryside, meet each other and make new friends.”

A starting point was organised from every village and once on the hill the groups could decide which route to take.

The gathering also wanted to highlight and raise funds for people in Uganda who are similarly battling the pandemic but who lack basic services such as good sanitation, drinking water or hand washing facilities. Their efforts raised £27, 685 for the cause.

Revd Annie says, “Ham Hill village churches have a long history of supporting both African communities, and water projects – our churches share every baptism collection with Wateraid and in recent years have raised thousands of pounds. Several of our churches lack their own toilets but that hasn’t stopped them ‘twinning’ their planned toilets!

“Our walk was one of 12 across the UK organised by members of the Watsan Uganda supporters. We invited teachers and pupils from our local schools and youth clubs and members of our seven village churches. Many non-walkers from the local villages also generously donated. We want to do what we can, not fester about what we can’t!”

 

Photo by Bob Brewer on Unsplash

CW88 – Reconcilation: Rural Roundup

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Owls lifting spirits

By Elspeth Taylor, Home Farm, Gloucestershire

 

We have a 200 acre farm just on the English side of the old Severn Bridge, in South Gloucestershire, 150 beef cattle, and 150 breeding ewes (Charolais/Texel).

Having struggled to make hay in these crazy weather conditions, my husband Robert spent all day turning, and we managed to bale late into the night. The rain then hammered down, with the bales still in the fields! We were unable to haul the bales up as we were also TB testing, so our days were completely taken up with driving cattle up from the grounds, and the usual 72 hours tense wait, to see if we were clear. By Friday we were exhausted, constantly getting soaked, and Robert got kicked hard on the knee by one of our cows during the test, so was limping!

Later that day he called me, very excited – he had just been standing under a tree in one of our fields, heard a chirp, looked up, and a pair of barn owls and chicks were sitting looking down at him from the branches. We have longed for barn owls to breed on the farm. but haven’t even seen one here for 25 years. What a great gift from God to lift our spirits, carry our weary bodies, and lighten our steps through the day, after a really tough week!  He always knows the precise moment when we need a little miracle to perk us up and appreciate his creation.

 

‘He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms

and carries them close to his heart; He gently leads those that have young.’

 

Isaiah 40:11

 

 

 

 

Pilgrimage

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CW86: Growing Together in Townend Community Garden

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By Mary Craner

On a prayer walk a couple of years ago, Lorraine Brown found herself in a conversation with members of Chapel-en-le-Frith Methodist Church about their vision of converting a small field the church owned into a community garden. Interestingly, the Minister of the church had already mentioned this idea to her a year or so earlier, so she knew God was stirring this church up. Were they brave enough to move into outward-focused mission?

Yes, they were!

Following consultations with the church and community, a planning group was formed comprising both community and church members. They applied for planning permission as the field was part of a conservation area and started fundraising.

Once planning permission was granted in July 2019 the project really took off, and in September a very successful open day was held on the field. Over fifty people attended on a hot sunny day, tea and cakes were served, everyone who came was very enthusiastic, and we were excited when ten volunteers signed up to join in with creating the garden.

A generous donation from our Methodist circuit, a Methodist Insurance grant and local fundraising had already raised a total of £10,000, so work on the main structure of the garden started in October with the building of raised beds. A low wall around the communal area went in over the winter and the orchard was planted in February by some enthusiastic volunteers, undeterred by the pouring rain.

The church, Girls’ Brigade, local primary and high schools, a local centre for adults with learning difficulties and a mental health support group were all keen to enjoy the benefits of working and playing in the garden. We agreed dates for each of the groups to start dates but then COVID-19 hit, and the project had to stop for a while.

As time went on and restrictions eased, volunteers were able to start caring for the garden again, planting beds, preparing a wildflower meadow, and creating fully accessible, safe paths.

Because of the garden project, Chapel-en-le-Frith Methodist Church was able to gather for worship once national COVID-19 restrictions began in lift. On Sunday afternoons during August and September, two of the ministers in the town shared an act of worship outside, allowing isolated church members a very welcome time of sharing in a safe outdoor space.

In time, local groups will be welcomed into the garden, and we hope that in spring 2021 we will be fully open to all. Our mission is to be a safe, accessible haven of peace and friendship where we can contribute to the health and wellbeing of local people.

The enthusiasm from our volunteers has been heart-warming. The mother of one family told us, ‘the garden has brought a fantastic feeling of community pride in what we have achieved. I am so happy my children have been part of it’, while the father of another family said, ‘my daughters and I love being outside. Attending on a Saturday morning puts us all in a great frame of mind for the rest of the day.’ A gentleman of 84 told us that he had ‘hugely enjoyed the companionship’.

What wonderful accolades!

 

Mary Craner, Project Co-ordinator

Chapel-en-le-Frith Methodist Church

maryinhighpeak@hotmail.co.uk

 

Deacon Lorraine Brown, Peak Park Rural Officer

peakpark@sheffieldmethodist.org

 

 

This article first appeared in Country Way 86: Mental Health & Wellbeing, February 2021. Go to arthurrankcentre.org.uk/country-way for more information about how to subscribe.

CW86: Increase in Crisis Calls to FCN Helpline During Pandemic

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By Alex Phillimore

During the COVID-19 pandemic, the Farming Community Network (FCN, fcn.org.uk) has seen an increase in calls to its helpline. This isn’t unexpected: after all, FCN is known for supporting rural communities during times of uncertainty and crisis, and we would expect a global pandemic to result in more people seeking our support. Those who have known the charity since we were founded in 1995 will remember us as the Farm Crisis Network, and we are still occasionally referred to as such, with people recalling the support we provided during crises such as foot-and-mouth and BSE.

What was perhaps slightly less expected is the amount of calls we have received this year which have a mental health component. 71% of new cases presenting to FCN in April, May and June of this year were classified as ‘stress-related’; digging deeper, we discovered this stress was caused by issues such as COVID-19, financial troubles, relationship issues and uncertainties about the future. While those who seek the support of FCN do so for varied reasons – with no two cases being alike – the burden they carry often has a similarly negative impact on their mental health. One issue can lead to another with, for example, a challenging harvest causing issues at home which lead to further stress.

Farming is not an easy profession and a degree of stress is often expected. It comes with the territory, and in some situations stress can be good; many of us would attest that we perform at our best in stressful situations and it can be the great motivator that gets us to do some of our best work. But too much stress can be dangerous; at its worst, stress is a result of situations beyond our control, when we’re forced to suddenly react to something we hadn’t planned for. For farmers, for whom every day can bring an unexpected series of events, stress can build up.

In these situations, many of us have an outlet through which we can vent our feelings and frustrations. Whether it’s a group of friends or a family member, having people to talk to can take some of the pressure off us; by talking about our feelings we can often feel the stress that has built up disperse, almost like air being let out of a canister. But for farmers, who frequently work long hours in isolated environments, that outlet isn’t always there. The same can be said for the wider farming family; being alone in a farmhouse while your partner is out until the early hours of the morning can be lonely.

Without an outlet through which you can talk about what’s on your mind and the challenges you’re facing, issues can stack up until everything feels overwhelming. Much has been written about the high rate of suicides in the farming community. Research shows 1% of all suicide cases in England and Wales are from members of the farming community, and data from the Office for National Statistics suggests that on average one farmer dies a week by suicide.

There is still a stigma around talking about mental health, and some farmers still find it difficult to admit when they may be struggling or when their farming business is facing challenges. Thankfully, attitudes are changing, and people are becoming more aware of their mental health and more willing to open up. We particularly see this with younger farmers, with 84% of those under the age of 40 believing mental health to be the biggest danger facing the industry, according to data from the Farm Safety Foundation.

We’re also seeing more mental health campaigns taking place, such as the Samaritans’ Real People, Real Stories campaign which launched this year, and in October the industry got behind #AgMentalHealthWeek 2020. More organisations are training mental health first aiders and since 2013 FCN has worked in partnership with the National Federation of Young Farmers Clubs to develop and deliver Rural+ mental health awareness training in England and Wales (nfyfc.org.uk/ruralplus).

This all suggests things are moving in a positive direction, but there is still more work to be done. Encouraging people to talk and open up is still vitally important, and FCN is continuing to play a significant role in providing this service to those who need someone to talk to in a confidential environment and without judgement. Our volunteers in England and Wales have a great understanding of rural life and farming issues, and are on hand to provide a listening ear to, and walk alongside, those in need of support. We must continue to promote openness and the importance of talking; when people see others opening up, it can help break down some of the barriers and remove some of the stigma, so sharing more real life stories will help make a big difference.

We also find that a lack of medium and long-term business planning and later life planning are contributory factors in many cases that present to FCN, which can often lead to increased stress as well as contributing to family relationship issues, financial problems and difficulties in managing the farm in older age. Uncertainty in the farming industry caused by Brexit and changes to the European Union Basic Payment Scheme support system are further stressors, and many farmers are struggling.

In response to this, FCN have launched a new project called Time to Plan, which is all about supporting and encouraging people through change. The project helps to raise awareness about the importance of forward planning and encourages farmers to prepare for change from both personal and business perspectives. Our FarmWell websites (farmwell.org.uk), available in English and Welsh, contain lots of useful information to help farmers stay mentally resilient and safeguard their farming businesses for the future.

During these changing and uncertain times, we have seen how the nation is strongest when we come together. To create a healthier farming future, we must continue to work collaboratively, engender a culture of openness around mental health in farming, and provide support to those who are experiencing hardship.

 

Alex Phillimore

Marketing and Communications Manager

The Farming Community Network

 

fcn.org.uk

@FCNcharity

 

 

This article first appeared in Country Way 86: Mental Health & Wellbeing, February 2021. Go to arthurrankcentre.org.uk/country-way for more information about how to subscribe.

CW86: The Rhythm of God’s Grace

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Revd Ruth Goodland

Engaging in retreats brings many rewards, as the rhythm of life takes on a new beat. The joy of sharing together opens up and releases people into new beginnings, new possibilities and focus.

Prayer and preparation are key to running a retreat. These enable participants to embrace the rhythm of God’s grace for themselves, often finding that their development in thinking spills over to all gathered. I have watched groups become stronger, new friendships forged, new insights into other Christian expressions of faith valued. The joy of engaging with, for example, Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Salvationist and Quaker Christians all at the same time enriches everyone.

I remember one person telling me that at 80 years of age they had never spoken to anyone who was a Catholic or a Quaker. ‘I never realised that I knew so little about faith. Today has been worth every moment, I have grown in my understanding and we are going to meet up for coffee regularly after this. I have found new friends: thank you!’

Our lives are often filled with so many demands that finding space to just be and engage in something other than ‘work’ is often very low on our list of things to do. We know when we go on retreat that everything will be waiting for us when we return, but the benefits of time apart from the demands of ministry and everyday life far outweigh any fears we may encounter in courageously prioritising ‘God and me days’.

Finding an appropriate venue is vital. I have led retreats in seaside church premises in Cornwall, holiday hotels in the Wye Valley, the Gower Peninsular, Buckfast Abbey, and Wesley cottage on Bodmin Moor. Wonderfully, each one holds an intimacy for leader and participant as space is given for the exploration of our relationship with God; time for contemplation and space to ‘be’ is crucial for all of us. Having the opportunity to explore beautiful scenery, gardens or the quayside all bring new ways of connecting with the rhythm of life, to begin to know the calming, comforting, peaceful, empowering, presence of God.

Retreats and ‘away days’ are an important part of the life of both the church and the church leader. They enable people to engage in the beauty of being together, to connect with the rhythm of God’s grace away from the ordinary things of life. They create space for the possibility of forming the words in our mouth, allowing the vowels and consonants to ripple over our tongues and engage our minds, not as a demand to do something but in the caress of God’s care.

The rhythm of word is enhanced by the rhythm of music, connectivity, which holds the listener in the gentleness of new sound. It allows the mind to move in a new direction of thought, bringing a sense of peace, of wellbeing. Bringing new aspects to people’s creative thinking and praying adds to the developing relationship with God. The flow and ebb of the rhythm of God’s grace in us heals, calms and enriches the people we are; the minutiae of life becomes secondary. Grace in abundance is ours, for loved we are, and we are enthralled.

 

Revd Ruth Goodland

Retired Methodist Minister (Supernumerary Minister)

 

 

 

This article first appeared in Country Way 86: Mental Health & Wellbeing, February 2021. Go to arthurrankcentre.org.uk/country-way for more information about how to subscribe.

CW86: The Rhythm of God’s Grace

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By Revd Ruth Goodland

Engaging in retreats brings many rewards, as the rhythm of life takes on a new beat. The joy of sharing together opens up and releases people into new beginnings, new possibilities and focus.

Prayer and preparation are key to running a retreat. These enable participants to embrace the rhythm of God’s grace for themselves, often finding that their development in thinking spills over to all gathered. I have watched groups become stronger, new friendships forged, new insights into other Christian expressions of faith valued. The joy of engaging with, for example, Anglican, Methodist, Catholic, Salvationist and Quaker Christians all at the same time enriches everyone.

I remember one person telling me that at 80 years of age they had never spoken to anyone who was a Catholic or a Quaker. ‘I never realised that I knew so little about faith. Today has been worth every moment, I have grown in my understanding and we are going to meet up for coffee regularly after this. I have found new friends: thank you!’

Our lives are often filled with so many demands that finding space to just be and engage in something other than ‘work’ is often very low on our list of things to do. We know when we go on retreat that everything will be waiting for us when we return, but the benefits of time apart from the demands of ministry and everyday life far outweigh any fears we may encounter in courageously prioritising ‘God and me days’.

Finding an appropriate venue is vital. I have led retreats in seaside church premises in Cornwall, holiday hotels in the Wye Valley, the Gower Peninsular, Buckfast Abbey, and Wesley cottage on Bodmin Moor. Wonderfully, each one holds an intimacy for leader and participant as space is given for the exploration of our relationship with God; time for contemplation and space to ‘be’ is crucial for all of us. Having the opportunity to explore beautiful scenery, gardens or the quayside all bring new ways of connecting with the rhythm of life, to begin to know the calming, comforting, peaceful, empowering, presence of God.

Retreats and ‘away days’ are an important part of the life of both the church and the church leader. They enable people to engage in the beauty of being together, to connect with the rhythm of God’s grace away from the ordinary things of life. They create space for the possibility of forming the words in our mouth, allowing the vowels and consonants to ripple over our tongues and engage our minds, not as a demand to do something but in the caress of God’s care.

The rhythm of word is enhanced by the rhythm of music, connectivity, which holds the listener in the gentleness of new sound. It allows the mind to move in a new direction of thought, bringing a sense of peace, of wellbeing. Bringing new aspects to people’s creative thinking and praying adds to the developing relationship with God. The flow and ebb of the rhythm of God’s grace in us heals, calms and enriches the people we are; the minutiae of life becomes secondary. Grace in abundance is ours, for loved we are, and we are enthralled.

 

Revd Ruth Goodland

 

Retired Methodist Minister (Supernumerary Minister)

 

 

This article first appeared in Country Way 86: Mental Health & Wellbeing, February 2021. Go to arthurrankcentre.org.uk/country-way for more information about how to subscribe.